The first thing that I saw was: TOO FAST! It’s hard to analyze the kata if everything is a blur! I think your comment about needing more pauses (punctuation, as Hanshi Bernard would say) is a good one. That will definitely help.
Watch it again, but just look at your feet. There are a couple of places where you seem to be jumping into stance. Slowing down might help that, too.
Kyoshi